


Our first

by Whoops_heck



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 04:57:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoops_heck/pseuds/Whoops_heck
Summary: 'I kissed him hard and fast. Hungry and impatient. I kissed him until he was begging for oxygen, drowned in moonlight.'Kei is drowning, not in moonlight but in a silent house. In cold glares. In harsh words and rough hands.Kei is drowning in Tetsurou.





	Our first

Our first kiss wasn't fireworks.

It wasn't sweet.

And it most certainly was not a fairytale.

It was a kiss.

A spur of the moment 'fuck it' kind of thing.

Why not kiss him.? 

Why not kiss the developing daylights out of him.

Do you need a reason with the great Kuroo Tetsurou?

Absolutely not.

So I kissed him hard and fast. Hungry and impatient. I kissed him until he was begging for oxygen, drowned in moonlight.

\--

Our first date was sweet.

Not the thing you'd tell at a wedding, but still sweet.

We played put-put until the sun went down. You passed out from heat stroke. Threw up everywhere. Tossed your miniature club at some poor employee and we ran off into the sunset without paying for our rounds.

Definitely not wedding material.

But sweet nonetheless.

-

Our first time was romantic.

You touched me gently.

Caressing my face.

You took your time.

I was impatient.

We later joked that during sex our personalities switch around.

-

Our first fight was rough. You were drunk so evidently you got aggresive.

You didn't hit me,

But your words felt like fists, slamming into my ribcage until I couldn't breath.

You apologised the next morning.

We had make-up sex.

-

The first time you smoked infront of me was surprising.

Over the course of our relationship you had never smelled of smoke and your teeth were prestige. Breath always minty and voice always charming.

I told you it was bad for you.

"I know" You said, taking another drag.

'I just don't care.'

-

Our second fight proceeded right after you said that.

-

The first time you introduced me to your friends they gave me pitying looks.

-

The umpteenth time you came home drunk I got mad.

You got mad back.

We screamed at each other for what felt like hours.

Then in his drunken stupor he hit me.

Hard.

Knuckles callose from experience and power behind the blow he knocked me to my feet.

-

Two firsts happened proceeding that.

The first time I said no to make-up sex.

And the first time I was raped.

-

The first time someone pointed out a bruise I brushed it off as if it was nothing.

-

There were too many firsts to count.

I lost track.

-

The first time I asked for help someone told me off, they told me to suck it up They told me I should be thankful you put up with me to begin with..

I didn't ask for help again.

-

I suffered through beatings and promises of improvement.

I suffered through Kuroo Tetsurou,

And the storm that followed him.

It engulfed me in gusts of apologies and a bone chilling swirl of debree.

There wasn't any room to breath.

As I stood with my neck pinned around two strong hands swirling with the rage of an earthquake, I relized I would die.

I hoped it would come soon.

I wished with every part of my being that rebirth existed and that I be reborn as a bird.

A crow perhaps.

Not hunted.

Not looked at.

Invisible, 

but free.

As air filled my lungs in hurried gasps I saved my wish for another day.

I would make it through.

One day at a time I will make it through the storm.

And if I don't,

then I'll spread my wings,

and soar to the heavens.

Tasting liberation I had never known.

Breathing in the darkness.

A death I can get behind.

I'll make through, one day at a time. 

Until one day I won't.

And then,

only then,

will I truly know what it means to be free.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is trash. Comment


End file.
